Step One: Choose a cupcake recipe. I thought Martha's One Bowl Cupcakes looked like something I could handle. And Dark Chocolate Frosting a la Martha, as well. And of course, perfectly chocolatey enough.
Step Two: Gather supplies and invite a friend over who has just as little baking experience as you do. Then when you wonder about the difference between baking soda and baking powder, you will be equally stumped. The adorable Katie B joined me on this adventure.
Step Three: Somehow turn one bowl cupcakes into two bowl cupcakes. And make sure you remember: Cocoa powder only looks tasty. (Oh admit it - you've made that mistake recently. It just smells SO good!)
Step Four: Realize you don't have any stick butter for the frosting, and then glance at the cupcakes already in the oven. Send dear baking partner-in-crime out to pick some up. Then attempt to soften by placing under the fridge (like katie's mom used to do??). Then stand guard to shoo away curious puppies.
Step Five: Mix frosting and improvise a paper bag for a wire rack. Eat more frosting then will go on a single cupcake. This frosting is AMAZING, people!
Step Six: Frost and decorate for Valentine's day, because that was what was 50% off at the store. And because hearts are always in style!
Step Seven: Prepare to taste your beautiful creation. Wave your thumbs up in the air to show your excitement.
Step Eight: Bite into cupcakes. Make excited noises about how good they are. Then make eye contact with your baking partner, notice she is faking her smile. Realize that something is definitely not quite right with the cake portion.
Step Nine: Examine recipe. Realize you both thought the other person was adding the vanilla. Wish Winslo could eat chocolate so you could get rid of just a few of your TWO DOZEN vanilla-less cupcakes.
Step Ten: Decide to stick to cookies from now on!